英语短笑话(10个超有趣的英语笑话)
1. Jack feell off his bicycle and got hurt. A beautiful young nurse asked him to fill forms. Jack finished them and gave them back."Anything else?" The nurse asked. "Yes,"Jack thinks for a while and said,"I'm a bachelor."
杰克骑车摔伤,得住院治疗.一位年轻美貌的护士拿着表格让填.仞杰克填好递上表格"还有什么漏填的?"护士问. "有!"杰克想了想说,"我是个单身汉."
2. Wife:You see.According to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.
Husband:It's okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.
妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的.
丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的.
3. "Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."
"Yours?Can you prove it?"
"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."
"请原谅,你占了我的位置."
"你的位置?你能征明这点吗?"
"能,我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."
4. One day,Eve asked Adam,"Doyou really love me?"
Adam said helplessly,"Do I have any other choice?"
一天,夏娃问亚当:"你当真爱我吗?"
亚当无可奈何地回答:"我还有的选择吗?"
5. Always Thirsty 总感到口渴
"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."
"That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"
"No, but I am always thirsty!"
一个男人对他的朋友说:“我动了一次手术,手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”
“真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道:“你觉得疼吗?”
“不疼,可是我总感到口渴。”
6. A Useful Way 一个有效的方法
Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?
Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.
Father: What"s that got to do with it?
Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.
爸爸:杰克,你干嘛喝这么多水呀?
杰克:我刚才吃了个苹果,爸爸。
爸爸:可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?
杰克:我忘了洗苹果呀。
7. A Present 凯特的礼物
Kate: Mom, do you know what I"m going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot.
Mom: But I"ve got a nice teapot.
Kate: No, you haven"t. I"ve just dropped it.
凯特:妈妈,你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?
妈妈:不知道,宝贝,是什么呀?
凯特:一把漂亮的茶壶。
妈妈:可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。
凯特:不,你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。
8. The Doctor Knows Better 医生懂得多
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I"m not dead. I"m still alive."
"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:“我想他伤得很厉害。”
医生说:“恐怕他已经死了。”
听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:“我没死,我还活着。”
妻子说:“安静,医生比你懂得多。”
9. Waste or Save? 浪费还是节约
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don"t you know you are wasting time?
Jack: Yes, Dad. But I"ve saved you a meal, haven" I?
父亲:噢,杰克,你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗?
杰克:我知道,爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢,是不是?
10. Why Is He Howling 他为什么喊
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven"t even touched your tooth yet.
Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!
牙医:请你不要再喊了!我还没碰你的牙呢。
病人:我知道,可是你正踩着我的脚呀!
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